I dreamed that somebody gave me a Bang & Olufson gnome-catcher. It was sleek and white and seamless, with an infinitely glossy depth to the surface, and shaped vaguely like a bent teardrop - like a very exciting iphone dock designed by Apple.
You held it against a wall inside your house, down next to the skirting, and gnomes would be sucked right out of the baseboards with a sort of sucking, whooshing noise, and plastered to the gnome-catcher like iron filings to the poles of a bar magnet. While they were still stunned, you stuffed them, blue jackets and pointed red hats and all, onto the bent part of the teardrop and they would start vibrating very rapidly, and after exactly eight seconds they would dematerialize and vanish, with a faint glop!-ing sound.
If you didn't catch them, they would dig right through your walls and pull up all your wiring.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
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